I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
