I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
