love makes seman taste better
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
