so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
