You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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