Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
