K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
