This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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