Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
