I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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