i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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