Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
