I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize