So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
