Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
