8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Someone shit on the floor
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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