Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you didnt know i had herpes?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
