i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
