What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
