we have officially lost it.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
that's an acceptable place to lick
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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