I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
