Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
no, he came in my armpit
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
