you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
