dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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