and you said cock pushups were impossible
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
