it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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