They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
