the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
