The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
