dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
