There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
