Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
