i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
