these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
