Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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