oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
either way he was missing a nipple.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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