I think im going to throw up on grandma
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
