Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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