# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
