I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
