I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
