im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
