So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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