HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize