Me too!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
