before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize