noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
