I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
