Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
