why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize