Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
