So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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