we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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