When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
