We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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