what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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