I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
