I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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