I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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