they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
