you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
